Yes, yes, I know. The Lector has been off message lately with Rants about abortion and topics that apply to the lower right corner of the country. However, with the possible exception of Arizona, much craziness has been resident in Florida for the last couple of weeks. Today’s Rant is about something that will affect all public employees and the entire nation. So indulge me.
First of all, This is not about an oil spill. It is an oil gusher 5000 feet below sea level. JFTDC. This is a colossal fuck-up. W. Bush probably never found an oil strike that productive in all the years he solicited money from investors to finance dry holes.
Second of all, the Florida politicians will screw this up if given a chance. RePuPlicans want to pretend this is only a minor oil slick that will dissipate in a few days. We cannot let a minor setback interfere with cheap oil for SUVs. Drill, Baby, Drill. Democraps want to rush the Florida legislature into emergency session to outlaw future oil drilling in the sovereign Florida waters of the Gulf of Mexico. It is a little late for that. We did not care much when the Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama coastlines were dotted with approximately 6659 active and abandoned oil drilling operations as long as there was nothing to mar Florida’s “pristine” white sand beaches. Now that WE are directly threatened, it is a BIG DEAL.
Florida Governor Charlie Crust, a man without a party, is said to have promised to do “whatever it takes” to protect the Florida fishing industry. WTF? Is he out of his mind? The Florida fishing industry has been in decline for years because of over fishing and developmental pollution. How will he fix that? Oh yeah, I forget he wants to move from Florida to Washington, D.C. Governor Crust is the only person I ever heard of who actively lobbied to get himself on the rePuPlican Vice-presidential ticket. A job with no duties. Instead, they picked Sarah Phalin. How did that work out for yah?
Third of all, we can count on nothing of value from Capitol Hill or the Whitehouse. They cannot fix this with a couple of Presidential flyovers, Senate Subcommittee meetings and sending FEMA trailers for the birds and fishes to live in. Come to think of it, maybe some blue FEMA tarps spread out over the estuaries may approve the appearance if nothing else. It would be kind of like a piece of art by that guy Christo who covers the world in fabric.
The government could always hire the laid off workers in the states surrounding the Gulf to work on mopping up the oil, but that would make too much sense. Halliburton will need a few more days to form a corporation and get the contracts drafted for the government to pay them to repair what should never have happened. Former governor and clandestine RePuPlican presidential candidate Jebster Bush (rhymes with mush) calls this kind of corporate welfare “entrepreneurial capitalism.”
OBTW, you can count on BP Corporation to pay for the total cost of their fuck-up. So what is the big deal after all? Here is the rub. BP will blame the government for not properly regulating them and allowing BP to improperly maintain their rigs and fail to comply with all engineering and safety rules.
And Oh yes, have a nice day.