Sunday, May 9, 2010

Caveat Lectores on the Devil’s Neck Disaster

There is some disturbing news from the Devil’s Neck. We went up to the House on Devil’s Neck this week only to find an ugly oil slick and sludge on the banks of the Devil’s Neck Convention Center. It could easily be THE environmental disaster of the fifth month of the second decade of the 21st century.

When the Lector saw the devastation, he called the world famous environmental engineer Dr. Hooby Boo who immediately declared a state of emergency. We determined the source of the pollution to be a foul smelling, gooey liquid that smelled like a combination of rotten bananas and coconuts. At first, Dr. Boo suspected that somebody had poured pina collada mix into the pristine waters, but further investigation revealed that the alligator that frequents the steps on the dock had snapped at a bottle of Hawaiian Tropic Tanning Oil and burst the plastic bottle thus polluting the entire beach front. The only good news is that the Gator has a nice tan.

While we are cleaning up the mess, we have had to completely suspend any work on the renovations and cancel the remaining 17 scheduled 1st Annual Devil’s Neck Labor/Management Kumbaya Retreats for 2010. This could put a kink in our funding.
Caveat Lectores wants to remind you that the off-site Enhanced Version of the Devil’s Neck Labor/Management Kumbaya Retreat is still available for only $500.00 more than the in-person workshop. It really is a good value to just get the credit without actually having to attend. The instructional literature along with T-shirt, embossed ball cap and the coveted Lectores Labor Institute Graduate Certification are always available.

Dr. Hooby Boo has applied for a grant to finance the clean-up, but we are short of funds until the FEMA check arrives in the mail. Therefore, we are appealing to our loyal student and Caveat Lectores base to keep the message coming. We are requesting a love offering of $500.00 from each subscriber and reader. If you want to call in your pledge, the number is: 1-800-YOU-BNHD. Remember to make the check out to Mr. Cash.

As a footnote to today’s message, Caveat Lectores must announce the demise of our political arm, Caveat MEPAC. We were unable to achieve our goal of 2000 contributors. Apparently, we misjudged the number of rePuPlicans and Tea Baggers among the Caveat Lectores readers who would be willing to donate money to a political cause designed to fail but at a profit to Caveat MEPAC.

Please be advised, the money actually contributed was well wasted.

And Oh Yes, Have a Nice Day?


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