Saturday, March 5, 2011

Caveat Lectores’ Weekend for Tea Baggers at the Devil’s Neck

3-5-2111

In order to show the Lector’s good will and commitment to diversity, Caveat Lectores announces the 1st Annual Tea Bagger Appreciation Weekend Getaway at the Devil’s Neck Convention Center.

I know. I know. It seems like the Lector has a mean spirited contempt for ignorant right wing nutjobs and tea baggers, but that is all just an act to stir the troops into action.

The Lector and the entire Caveat Lectores staff are just a frolicking bunch of good natured, heterosexual, conservative, white, home folks who take ignorance of government and the Constitution with a grain of table salt. We do not want to pay taxes or see our investment earning going to help others any more than the next right wing conservative nutjob.

We thought it would be a good idea to show our good faith by offering use of the Devil’s Neck Convention Center site as a love offering. Caveat Lectores and the DNCC will make no charge for property rental.

We do not want to interfere with the arrangements being made by the Koch brothers for other get togethers so we will wait a few weeks until they have fully done all they can do to interfere with democracy up north in Wisconsin and Ohio. If we offered to hold something in the dead of winter, I fear the sunny Florida weather would interfere with their plans. We will wait until August when the Florida weather will compete less. That way we can be sure that only real tea baggers will attend.

The Lector would like suggestions from the Caveat Lectores readers on what some of the weekend activities should be. Here are a couple ideas I and a few other Lectores supporters thought of right away.

• Political sign making contest to see who can come up with the most inane slogan.
• Cross construction lessons. Good for burning or worship.
• Reading classes for those who actually want to know what is in the Constitution.
• Seminar entitled: R U Smarter Then a Liberal??
• Sarah Palin look-alike contest for the evening entertainment.
• Seminar entitled: How to Ignore and Distort Research and Facts 101.
• Seminar entitled: Ms. Manners’ Class on Disrespectful Disagreement.
• Seminar entitled: Learning to Interfere with Groups Who HELP Others.

In order to assure our inclusive posture to allow anyone to become a Tea Bagger, we are foregoing the traditional "three tooth minimum."

More information to come ASAP or call 1-555-UBN-DUPD.

And oh yes, Have a nice Day?

Wjc
Caveat Lectores by Jeff Carnes
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