Sunday, August 8, 2010

Caveat Lectores on Politicians in Florida

This Rant is about Florida politicians and those outside Florida may not be interested. BUT you have similar politicans in your state.

Things have gotten so desperate in Florida politics that we have the following things occurring all at once:

• We have a Democrap candidate for the US Senate who some accuse of being a real estate swindler and mortgage fraud accomplice who profited richly off the debacle that has financially crippled our country. He whines that because he has not been charged with anything illegal he is clean. If he did not know what was going on, he is too stupid to be a Senator or maybe not. How brainless and detached from reality does a politician have to be?

• We have another Democrap candidate for the same office who, upon seeing his retired politician mother drive up in a new Cadillac Excommunicate SUV, thought nothing of it. Obviously, there is more to that story but there is only so much space. Do your own research. Anyone I have spoken to who actually knows this light weight says he is a …light weight. He seems a little detached from reality himself but is rumored to be a nice guy. Beaver Cleaver was a nice guy. Do you want the “Beave” as your next Senator in Washington?

• We have a right wingnut tea bagger rePuPlican candidate who is so bad he gives the above mentioned candidates credibility. What we absolutely know about him is that he stands for devolving government into nothing, and he wants to do it from Washington. The job he did in Tallahassee is something of which he should be ashamed.

• Finally, for the US Senate we have a partial term governor who became an independent because he could not get the right wingnut tea bagger rePuPlican Party to nominate him. This guy has made a career out of standing for nothing by being willing to stand for almost anything that would promote his career. I actually like him as person. He worked hard early in his term as governor trying to get John McCain to nominate him as his VP choice. Imagine if you can, actively running for a job that has no duties except to break a tie in the Senate. I like his style. I might vote for him but he is not a Democrat and I am. I am not ready to die quite yet. Men in my family tend to die within two years of voting for a rePuPlican. I am not a bleeding heart liberal just a survivalist.

• All four of these political giants are vying to replace Mel Martinez who nobody has missed since he resigned midterm. When the Democraps took over control of the Senate, it just was no fun unless the right wingnut tea bagger rePuPlican Party could maraud and pillage at will.

• For governor of this fair state, we have a right wingnut tea bagger rePuPlican Party outsider whose only claim to have any qualification for office is that he is wealthy beyond imagination and has no experience. He apparently learned how to make money selling doughnuts and healthcare to government. Or something like that. There was that incident where he was shown the door and his company paid a big settlement to the gooberment. But he was not charged or convicted of a crime; therefore, he is clean kind of like the other great guy at the top of the page. Both of these guys were obviously smart enough to get out before it was too late, but I am not sure that is the only qualification required for governing the state of Florida. He wants to run Florida like a business. If he wins, we can only hope he runs Florida like others run their businesses not his. The only people in this state who have not been screwed by a healthcare provider are those who…. Well, somebody has not been screwed. I just cannot name them.

• For governor of this fair state, we have another right wingnut tea bagger rePuPlican Party guy whose claim to fame is that he has experience in government and was a tea bagger before tea bagging was an acceptable practice. Some say he looks like Howdy Doody. I do not care what he looks like. My problem is that he acts like Howdy Doody. No offense intended to Buffalo Bob Smith. He is in one helluva fight to try to see how he can be more of a right wingnut without wearing a white sheet and pointy hat. My biggest fear of him is that he actually knows how to harm me and the citizens more than the outsider.

• Finally, we have the Lector’s personal favorite. A female who has successful business and government experience. Alex Sink (where did she get that name) may actually be the most qualified for the job. JFTDC She is the only one remotely qualified. She is originally from my home state of North Carolina and talks like me. That is part of her problem, she talks like me. She is working hard and has some good talking points but lacks the pizzazz of a winner. Voters in Florida demand a certain amount of folly in their winners. Remember Claude Kirk? And how about Paula Hawkins? Where is Walkin’ Lawton when we need him? That “He coon walks at night” SOB is DEAD.

• I forgot about the “he coon pup” known as Lawton “Bud” Chiles III. He decided recently to throw his hat in the dog fighting pit. The problem with the Budman is that he has no identity without referral to the He Coon. If he becomes the spoiler who draws enough votes away from Alex Sink to cause her loss, he may need to move elsewhere.

There is lots more political idiocy in Florida but only so much bandwidth. More on another day.


And oh yes, have a nice Day?

Caveat Lectores by Jeff Carnes
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