Sunday, September 5, 2010

Caveat Lectores on Labor Day at the Devil’s Neck

Once again Caveat Lectores (CL) and Lectores Labor Consulting (LLC) is sponsoring the 25th Bi-annual Public Employees Labor Day Labor/Management Kumbaya Retreat (BAPELDL/MKR) at the Devil’s Neck Convention Center (DNCC).

CL and LLC spend a lot on money putting on this BAPELDL/MKR, and we like to promote it to maximize attendance. The first BAPELDL/MKR the CL and LLC sponsored was scheduled for Labor Day weekend 1985 when hurricane Elena spent the weekend stalled off the west coast of Florida. Things were a little wet and windy. Attendance suffered. Since that time, the BAPELDL/MKR has grown to an turnout of less than 15,000 attendees from all over the world.

This year, the political climate has made getting politicos, pundits and candidates to attend a breeze. We expect Sarah Phalin and Glenn Feck to be here early on Monday to explain to the working people of the world just why they should support tea baggers who are intent on destroying their careers and future. This should provide for some fun filled discussion.

Later in the morning, we will enjoy the reptile show when Alliburton Gator reenacts the suntan oil spill he created earlier in the summer. E/S will be there once again to save the day by sawing down yet another 100 year old Cypress tree to harvest the Spanish moss to soak up the oil. Remember how much fun we had earlier in the year when we burned the oil soaked moss. The mosquitoes are just beginning to return. Wow.

Dr. Hooby Boo will run the Wet T-Shirt Contest concession where the attendees can pour cold water on political candidates who volunteer to spread their spin on how they and they alone will save the world from politicians. That is always a hoot.

After that we open the free beer kegs and things will get a little fuzzy, but we always have a good time. Admission is free but parking is $100.00 per car. Cash only.

The history of Labor Day is vague enough to dissuade me from writing endlessly about how and when it all started. He are some Labor Day facts that you should know:

• About 1 out of 10 workers (9.6%) in this country do not have any work to do. It is called unemployment.
• The first American Labor Day celebration was in NY in 1882. The uniquely (?) American holiday probably started in Canada in 1870 because of a strike protesting a 58 hour workweek.
• The first state to recognize Labor Day as a state holiday was Oregon in 1877, then Colorado, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and New York joined the party later that year.
• In 1894, Congress made the first Monday in September a national holiday to celebrate working people.

"Labor Day differs in every essential from the other holidays of the year in any country," said Samuel Gompers, founder and longtime president of the American Federation of Labor.

"All other holidays are in a more or less degree connected with conflicts and battles of man's prowess over man, of strife and discord for greed and power, of glories achieved by one nation over another. Labor devoted to no man, living or dead, to no sect, race, or nation." Samuel Gompers was a cigar worker and reputed to be a Lector early in his labor career.

And oh yes, have a nice Day?

Caveat Lectores by Jeff Carnes
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As always, absolutely brilliant satire.